my own wittle woild

If only you had ice cream instead...

2009-10-18T05:27:00.000-07:00

Oww - hurt

Nick - cut

Ooze - blood

Mutter - discontent

Argh - anger

Thunk - fist/wall

Ouch - pain

Plink - blood/floor

Oh - surprise

Eep - fear

Ick - horror

Augh - despair

ako o ikaw?

2009-09-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

I have claimed the peon as my own. I make it do my bidding. I bend it to my will. I would be the perfect merciless master if not for the fact that I'm devoted, heart and souls, to the slave's bliss.

Kunat

2009-08-31T21:48:00.000-07:00

The old witch knew just how she was going to eat little Hansel. First she would start with his stubby little fingers, then his toes, then work her way to the meatier bits. She would drink his tears as they flowed when she got thristy. She would save the heart for last to savor it's tender lusciousness. It was no wonder how surprised she was when Hansel offered her his heart first. She disagreed and said she was saving that for last. Hansel shrugged and said "ikaw. para kang kumain ng goma niyan."

whoops.

2009-08-25T22:59:00.000-07:00

Astute was what anyone would say if asked to describe Trudie. Hers was the power of keen observation. It was a wonder how she could have been oblivious to falling into the state she is in now. Maybe because it was a gradual descent. Even if you ask her, she can't tell you.

On occassion

2009-07-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

Lou had, on occassion, set upon his skin a blade to cut himself. This was, on occassion, what he needed to keep the pain at bay. On occassion, he cut shallowly for little pains. On occassion, he cut too deeply that he needed stitches. He relished the physicality of the pain. He would wear the scars of pain proudly and could recount every story to every little scar. On occassion he would forget a story or two. Eventually, there were too many stories to remember. And so Lou stopped loving her.

On occassion, Lou would still cut himself. It wasn't crude markings of sharp objects on skin, though. You had to open him up and look into his chest to see the scars. How many of those scars, you may wonder, are yours?

(emo anpootah!)

If only...

2009-04-04T11:48:00.000-07:00

The lattice work of indefinites were working overtime. I was no longer as confident as I was when we were intorduced. I thought you made perfect sense. But you were listnening to me none the less. And I thought I was making perfect sense to you until you said "huh?" It was all downhill from there. Damn.

self-pity? (think of a better title please...)

2009-04-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

Had it been any clearer, it would have solved everything that was troubling young Mr. Bufford. Truly the coin was god. It was either one or the other. Heads or tails. Only when it came out heads did Mr. Bufford question god. "Why is god against me?" he thought.

Have I failed you?

2009-03-30T12:06:00.000-07:00

Is your step no longer as springy? Is the food no longer as spicy? Are your waking moments no longer as worth looking forward to? I guess it's because i failed you. I provided you with all that but yet somehow, i fell short. I'm sorry. And by the way, fuck you.

matters

2009-03-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

in the efficiency of individualism, it may be a wonder that the lack of existential know how is absent. It may be that i am the absolute you that you ever wanted to be. it's just that i don't live my life quite the way you pictured your life as. that's actually your problem then... or is it mine... the me that i am you is... you? or is it it's not you it's me?

Exist

2009-03-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

With you being you, that makes me being me a problem. I live only to fulfill you, But you are irrevocably hasty. You do not see the me that I put into being the me for you. This wouldn't actually be a problem if I didn't think you were important.

mustering

2009-03-25T11:35:00.000-07:00

why was Gilbert forever in wariness? The space betweem his eybrows was regerded forever in cheap commentary and wild discussion. the wrongness thou'art perceive is but s reckoning of ideas. I am just like you are.And if you start to see the me i refer to, it is too late for you,

just drunken bloggins...

2009-03-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Benny got the best of it. He was forever the person who got the most stars. He laughed at everyone, reveling in the ease of his popularity. He was envied by his peers so much that he never knew what aspect of him was there to be envious about. When he found out, self-conciousness came into effect. That was when he started destroying himself.

drunken bloggins 014

2009-03-17T11:12:00.000-07:00

a little too late, was Ezekiel. For someone who had way too many "E"s in his name, he was never early.

drunken bloggins 013

2009-03-16T12:27:00.000-07:00

A fine time it was to be uppity. Baxter thought so. Theo thought so as well. "I say 'nay!'" said Baxter. "I say 'nay!' to your nay!" said Theo. "So you're FOR the legalization of clandestine cartwheeling couples?" asked Baxter. "No," said Theo. "I was just being uppity."

drunken bloggins 012

2009-03-14T10:44:00.000-07:00

Desmond was forever the pinnacle of sovereignty. He was his man, he was. This was before he met himself, though. After which he was jsut another slave to himself. Ahhh Desmond. You would have been great. You just shouldn't have listened to what you was telling you.

drunken bloggins 011 i think...

2009-03-13T19:06:00.000-07:00

enough of your frivolity. I care no longer for your aspirations. Finally, your domination is but an option in the many things I consider. I just don't know what to do now that Idon't have to follow you anymore...

drunken bloggins 010...

2009-03-11T12:06:00.000-07:00

Matthew remebered himself just in time. He always did. We are all envious of Matthew. He never went overboard...

drunken bloggins 010

2009-03-11T11:58:00.000-07:00

drunken bloggins 009 hopefully(not really)

2009-03-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

Nestor never did negotiate his negligence, it was foreverer a summary of cringing in himself. They question what was why And they had to see him as arbitrarry when he was the most viable.The answer was there was.

drunken bloggins 009

2009-03-08T11:21:00.000-07:00

Astounding Alex entered the tent with thoughts of immesurable self-importance. He was, after all, astounding. He made himself believe what everybody said was the truth. If there were a consensus on how astounding Alex was, it would have been to his favor. But, it being a strict consensus and as how consensi go, the truth was not. Alex was just a little bit insecure, you see. And so, he entered the tent with just a little bit of self-doubt. That made the difference.

drunken bloggins 008

2009-03-06T09:22:00.000-08:00

Originally, Kendrick was predisposed towards anachronism. Then he discovered that criticism and complete lack of affection heralded accomodation in droves. The phrase " that shit is wack" figured frequently in every conversation he had since then.

drunken bloggins 007

2009-03-03T08:44:00.000-08:00

The problem with subtle diversion is that once you get someone in on it, it is no longer. Like when i say your life is gonna be better and that all that you dream will come to pass, you do not notice the fact that I am the subtle diversion telling you such things. I am here to reassure you and not speak the truth. I'm letting you in on it. Only if you think that life was being too subtle.

drunken bloggins 006

2009-03-01T09:23:00.000-08:00

Mundane as it may be, Mikhail thought it was atavistic. Hence his predispositon to his grandfather's truth. It no longer mattered,though, what his grandfather thought. As truth be told by beings of logical being, their species was wrong from the beginning.Hence, origjnal sin.

drunken bloggins 005

2009-02-28T09:16:00.000-08:00

As luck would have it, Everette scored high in hope. Much to his disappointment, tests and scores were not really the basis with which reality gauged itself. It was strictly a damn if you do and damn if you don't kind of arrangement.

Drunken bloggins 004?

2009-02-27T09:44:00.000-08:00

What an eternity Libby saw. All those little lines weaving and crossing other lines might have just as well been neverending echoes of dissonance that was her understanding of the world. If she could have just figured out that it was all meant for her, it would have been grand. But, as with us all, her life was put together in such a way that surprise was the best reward. It wasn't always good but at least it was exciting.

Drunken Bloggins 004

2009-02-21T09:31:00.000-08:00

"Resistance is futile!" said Mr. Trepidity."You are treading dangerous waters." Little Lester Lispspeak thought this over. And after a serious concourse with hinself he and he and he decided against it. "Ith not a theriouth matter! I'm justh in to thith for the time being! She'th never going to get the beth of me...!" Then after a while, he cried. "athuthuthuthtuthuthuthuht..."

drunken bloggins 003

2009-02-20T09:27:00.000-08:00

Delilah never did what she was told. She always was against the flow. She was not a follower. She was the arsnonist to your plans. She was your ruin. Yet still you wanted her. Your demise in her eyes, you took her hand and laid out what you saw your future to be. She, of course, obliges you with her nature. Then you go looking for another Delilah. When does the cycle end, dammit?

drunken bloggins 002

2009-01-21T09:26:00.000-08:00

Ano kaya kung kaya mo ang kaya ko? Ano kaya kung kaya ko ang kaya mo? Kakayanin mo kaya kung kaya ng iba ang kaya mo? Kaya mo kaya kung may ibang nakakagawa ng kaya mo? E kung kaya ko ang kaya ng lahat ng iba? E paano kung pareho tayong may kaya? Paano ko malalaman kung kinakaya mo lang ako? E paano kung kinakaya ko lang dahil alam kong kinakaya mo lang ako? Paano kaya ito? Kakayanin mo ba kung sabihin kong kaya kita?
Carry ba?

drunken bloggins 00whatever

2009-01-14T09:35:00.000-08:00

awesome is as intricate as an abruptly interrupted self. If another takes, self gives. No longer is there any form of self. There is only need. What you need is yours and if self is able to give, self would. Go self. go. Self is no longer. Isn't this fucked up?

drunken bloggins 001

2009-01-03T09:22:00.000-08:00

Limpid Mr. Liptwisk was as lousy as a loquacious dunderhead making small talk. He, apparently, knew everything about everything. What was so extraordinary about it was he DID. He could actually fathom that which was most elusive to the sharpest and broadest of human minds. His innate ability to observe, dissect and understand the world as we never knew possible, ultimately exorcised him from commonality. A brilliance never before experienced by humanity. An answer to all the questions ever posed by the greatest of ponderers. Was there ever just one answer? To evreything? Apparently, to Mr. Liptwisk, there IS. Though I know not what he concludes,for some strange reason, I feel the answer is "YES." Mr. Liptwisk nevr did quite expalin it.

Drunken blogging: truth

2008-12-26T09:27:00.000-08:00

I laugh at my ineptitude. I, by my own standards, am less than what I ever hoped for. Reality being, I am less than everything I ever tried to be. I am less. I am not enough. I am never enough. That is how I see myself and that is forever how its going to be. I am never enough. How funny is that? That you will never live up to your own expectations? Such sadness and irony deserves a little chuckle. Yes, the joke's on you. Smile and take it. That's how it is.

I am sovereign

2008-12-16T09:24:00.000-08:00

Nothing controls me. No person, being or entity has hold of I. I am unbound, unobstructed and unimpeded in my meanderings. I am, for all intents and purposes, free. I have no need of others, for I am sovereign. I am my own. I am on my own. I am alone on my own. Because I am sovereign, I am alone. I am lonely. Somebody please tell me what to do.

sus

2008-11-27T10:18:00.000-08:00

A hint. Just a hint. That's all I ever needed. Just a hint. A little gesture that would signify a little interest in me. Am I so uninteresting as that I do not merit a permanence in your heart? Am I that small and insignificant? Am I nothing to you? Am I?

Anonimity

2008-11-21T09:49:00.000-08:00

Junior decided he would never be able to come up with a line perfect enough for what he was feeling now. So he stayed in the shadows and pined from afar.

Drunken Blogging #ehh?

2008-11-15T09:54:00.000-08:00

"Dust! It is dust!" said Mr. Wanwilly as he observed the minute particles that was his life. Vulnerable to the gusts of wind that blow to and fro ever so gently yet cruelly as fate, as fickle as it was, was undecided upon whether to give or take the happiness from him. Only after a few months of enduring this did Mr. Wanwilly see that it would forever be like this. He was 14.Yet he was as optimistic as ever when he tried again and again at age 17 and 18 and 25 and 32... He was that kind of guy. He chose hope. Little did he know what little it would do him. He was just as fucked as the rest of us.

Publicity

2008-11-12T09:35:00.000-08:00

"Listen all yea who care to hear!" cried Evan. "I am within myself a united front against you. Alone yet infinite, I am numerous!" He was quite surprised when the crowd, in indignation, struck him with murderous intent. "He could never be better than the mass," they thought. As Evan received each and every blow he thought, "Yep, a nail who sticks out gets hammered. Ti's a good thing I like attention."

One last time.

2008-11-10T23:48:00.000-08:00

"No more" is something Avery would be able to say if he truly meant it. "I'm ok" would be something he'd be able to think if he truly believed in it. "It's done" is something he would be able to feel if he had no hope left. And when he could say all those things, the only thing left to say to Bonnie would be "goodbye."

Just is.

2008-11-09T09:16:00.000-08:00

Will it be any easier for you if I just stopped? It would not be easier for me, I tell you now. I am a rundown amalgamation of unexpressed alliterations. I feel, want, need and know what it exactly is that I want to tell you, though always I hide in the guise of non-concern. I say what you want me to say. I say what I think you need me to say. And in that way, I, truly, say nothing. That exact nothing is eating away slowly at the core from which it sprang. A paradox it may be, but it is, nonetheless. To claim defeat would be the wiser path. Such that I would not waste time and effort in the pursuit of you. Expectations non-existent, it would be just at as it is. But I do not want the nothingness. I fear the existence that did not include you.

Keeping on

2008-11-08T10:28:00.000-08:00

Huff and puff did the little wolf go. How he was hoping for a success that was worthy of folklore. Yet huff and puff did he as much as he could, his actions would neither sway nor move that which was decided.But even if he failed to achieve that which he sought, he just kept huffing and puffing. Just huffing and puffing.

yet again, and watching

2008-11-05T09:17:00.000-08:00

Roberto said " I am." To which Selma replied "yes you are!" Very envious am I.
I have never had that kind of afffirmation. Ever. Yay you fuckers.

bonus na lang to

Derek wondered why. It was not just any why but a why that encompassed all the why's anyone has ever asked. "No one can answer that except me." said the Almighty, And, with a smile, the Almighty said "why indeed?"
You omnipotent prick! None o' my shit ever getttin to you biatch. An if ever, dey don meen notin.

Lifted (drunken blogging yet again)

2008-10-31T09:45:00.000-07:00

I am lifted. I am higher than most. I am able to see from a distance. I am above. That's the fuckin reason I'm having problems trying to get along with othwr people. I blame mt pride I'd like to be just.But you are either higher of lower. I dont get it though. Does it matter whether you are high or low? Positions are just your mass occupying a certain space. What is up or down but just location. Is not lower just another direction?

Equity

2008-10-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

distinct as it may br, the allowance of description is as is. I am a... I cannot. I am nothing, And I cannot.

Fail

2008-10-29T17:40:00.000-07:00

As Mortimer waded his way across the madness that comprised his life in general towards the harbor where Kimberly sat fishing, he thought to himself, "this can go so very wrong." And true enough, after she's reeled him in, she decides he is too small a catch and throws him back in the water. "I am free again!" he tells himself, "but it seem that I am not a catch."

Finite

2008-10-18T11:18:00.000-07:00

And Mr. Piccadilly sent out notices to all his underlings about the new thrust of the company. It read something like a rather less than perfect opportunity for survival. "There are always trade-offs," it said. " One such arrangement is that you tell me what you want and then I say 'nooooo' and you say can't you have just a bit and I say 'nooooo' and you beg and plead but 'noooo.' You have got to settle for what I'm going to give you, which is actually less than before.You have to understand times are tough and getting tougher by the minute. Our resources are waning and we have yet to find other alternatives. That is the nature of things, and infiinity only applies to problems.'"

Ay naku

2008-10-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

Let it be. That is the mantra of my soul. Sige lang. That is what i say to whatever happens. I'd like to care not to what eventualities there may be. But. It's been such a long time that I've beeen as such. I am wondering when I'm gonna get off my ass and start taking things seriously. And seriously, I'm starting not to care anymore what other people may think. This seemingly cathartic liquidation is apparently just a figment of my otherwise crooked meanderings. I am loser. so FUCK that! Tomorrow is, hopefully, different.

Optimism

2008-10-14T00:22:00.000-07:00

"Up there!" shouted Millicent as she pointed at her reflection in the silver sky. "I can see myself in them clouds!" "I can't." said Jonas simply.

Drunken Blogging 5 I guess... Initially...

2008-07-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

Vestigial and residual. Rhyming and related, both them words, uh-hyuh. Does it make sense that anything vestigial is residual? Or is it the wrong way around? Wait. To be vestigial is to have no use what so ever. To be residual is to be there after being used. There lies the question, then. Is residual vestigial? Should we forget every non-useful thing we ever thought of? Should we forget everything that we did not act upon? Should we have no REGRET? How many vestigial thoughts are formulated every synaptic moment in the continuing process that is your everyday life? To which I add why do we have RESIDUAL memories (redundancy right there) that a few of these vestigial thoughts have made us smile or frown in one way or another. To be like a child with unfettered imaginings and no regrets. But such is not for us. No. We are of course masters of our lives because experience makes us so. Having gone through so much life makes us so. Having so much regret makes us so. How many of us mask regret with the cliché " if I did not go through this, I wouldn't be where I am right now." Mostly used in explanation of how "good" your life is right now.* Yeah. Make yourself believe that. All the choices you made were actually correct! You couldn't have done a better job! You couldn't have been in a better place. A MUCH better place.

But hey. You are where you are. That is a solid fact. And if "if I did not go through this, I wouldn't be where I am right now" helps you cope, then say it with all your heart. It helps me. A lot. I just hope I don't have to rely on that statement too often...

*although somtimes life throws you a curve that actually makes you think it's fair.

Drunken Blogging 3... or is it 4?

2008-07-07T08:50:00.000-07:00

To be ever so slow. Such fate awaits those of us who ingest substantial quantities of "recreational substances" and think that we can write shit just because we're recreational. I am slow. I am as slow as a matrix fight scene wherein every bullet takes minutes to whiz pass my unbelievably keen sense of dexterity. Thoughts come into being just as seconds tick away, and are discarded with the same ferocity. Reviewing what I've written takes immesuarable moments as I try to make sense of the here and now and of the past paragraph. But there is no past paragraph. But all in all, I am but one blogger in the multitudes of you who write everyday about what happens in your lives. You see something interesting? Good. I myself get drunk and get interested. I don't know who's better off. I'm having the time of my life just trying to spell "substantial" and "ferocity" without looking at a dictionary. Took me the better part of an hour... I think. But hey. When making sense is the responsibility of the serious, who am I to judge?

Such (drunken blogging 03)

2008-06-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

Levels upon level of dignity just dismissed as an expat dismisses you as just another invading wannabe. Not counting the number of times i myself have been seen as such, I wonder at why each of us see each other as lower than the other.I myself am guilty of appraising my fellow man as either worhty of my respect... or not. But, there is always the "but." Yes. But. You never know how great a person is until you see what makes him ask about others and what makes other people great. You see that the person is not interested in individual greatness but a greatness of a whole new sort. The greatness defined by the simplicity of being. Confidence it may be, but greatnes it is.

May WEBSITE na kami!

2008-06-25T18:32:00.000-07:00

http://furball-inc.com/

sa wakas!

Alas (drunkem blogging 2)

2008-06-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

Alas, we are all sembalances of our youth. That we should clearly see. The enegetic optimism that we as children have so readily is replaced by the daily anachronisms we call our maturity. Gone is the time where even the smallest of spiders threatened the very existence of our friendships. Gone is the time when just a brilliant touch/save to an adjacent post was equivalent to legend among our peers.Gone is the time when to lose your marbles meant not insanity but loss on a grand childish scale. And gone is the time when every single person you know mattered.

Now, you meet people... You say Hi I'm this guy. I do this... They respond... Hey. I'm this guy. I do this...

So are you into this? Yeah I'm into that, a bit. Are you into this? Yeah, a bit.

The reseravations. Yes the reservations. Aysus.

I hope I'm like this only because everybody is like this.

If I'm the only one, I may have to get even more severe than I already am. Haha!

Networking

2008-04-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

Somebody sent me a message in facebook:

I am an agent of Sunlife of Canada pHils and I would like to set an appointment with you to present some ideas.

What I can do for you is to sit down and discuss how your savings and investment will work for you.

I am free weekdays after work hours and weekends daytime up to early evening.

And here is my reply:

Are you really working this angle? really? good luck to you then. Thanks for being my "friend" and all, and I know it's your job but I would really appreciate it if you didn't use this network for peddling your wares.Don't add people because they can be potential clients. It's cheap.

But if you could message me a full rundown of all you have to offer, and include in your email why I should subscribe to whatever you're selling, then ok. Make your intentions clear. Did you add me because you know me or did you just go through the contacts of one of your friends and added everybody who was in it?

By the way, would you like to invest in a start up business that deals with solar power harvestation and LPG and as a main source of fuel. Efficient energy, unparalleled performance and a greener earth.

I am free weekdays after work hours and weekends daytime up to early evening.

Now how do you like it?

Drunken texting is obsolete

2008-04-17T11:42:00.000-07:00

Drunken blogging is more effectiive in the away that more and more people will be able to see just how much off an ass you are when you're drunk. And when you start to hit multiple keys and startd spelling wqrong because you7p;re hand sdon't wo9rk quitew hte way you want them to. Yes, Drunken blogging is the way to go.

Incremental dissatisfaction

2008-04-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

Do you even begin to understand the subject? It is actually pertaining to a form of measurement at which dissatisfaction can be leveled. Are there really increments? Is there really a way to tell that I am this much unsatisfied by the outcome of certain situations? Is it really me or is it you all? Hehe. And if it were you, how do I measure the wrongness or rightness of what you do when in fact, by your standards, what you're doing is natural? How do I measure natural? Certainly neither the metric nor the english system would be appropriate. How would you like it if I said "You are exactly a pound and three inches wrong about what I'm feeling right now.."?

age

2008-04-11T12:04:00.000-07:00

Stubborn as you may be, you can never disregard that you are getting along in the years. Conversations that should have been about the chick/hot guy sitting in (or on) the table next to you have been replaced by how much your kid needs for tuition, or where he/she is going to school (yes, it is enrollment time once again), or that you can actually be spending the money you're drinking with on bills and bills and bills. I don't really know why I'm extrapolating on it; all of us at this age is feeling it anyway. And nobody actually reads blogs at length so this is more cathartic than something for any of you who are still reading. Hehe. Maybe because I just paid a shitload of bills, maybe because I know people who did, or maybe because I don't have anything else to think about. Pathetic, I know. I have grown up a grown up. Where is the the peter pan that I was supposed to be? Where is the oliver, one of the vo trapp kids, or the annie with her daddy warbucks (used as an allusion and not signifying that i am gay)? Where is my happy ending as a child? I wonder. I wonder.

Well, at the very least I am still wondering. And wonder is somewhat a childlike passtime. Makes me smile when I really think about it. Delusions of youth. Haha!

why

2008-04-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

nandeska nadesyo but all in all fuckrulesalll. nobody really cares so doshite. fuck it all. just try understanding me.

do I have to wait?3

2008-04-10T11:11:00.000-07:00

water

2007-09-27T10:57:00.000-07:00

Fluidity as bendable as it may be, is something as impossible as you becoming me.

All things boil

2007-06-16T01:24:00.000-07:00

As the great and wonderful teapot said, "all things boil." And as Mr. Fingers brushed his tips across the burnished surface of the kettle, he felt that it, indeed, was true. He noted the burning sensation as skin reacted to intense heat and blistered and popped as would corn. He wondered briefly at his own surprise for the sudden sharp stab of red he felt in his core, thinking how is it that just such a small part of him could cause the wholeness of him to react so. And breifly he surmised that, all things considered, it would be terribly stupid to let this go on. So he did what any normal Mr. fingers would do: he told the palm to tell the wrist to tell the arm to tell neck, etc.. to tell the brain: "Wot are you doin' you fuckin' idiot! Get me the hell away from this damn kettle!" The brain obeyed, thus relieving Mr. Fingers of the intense pain he was suffering. It took the better part of a half-second for all this to happen. Because the brain was half a second to late in obeying Mr. Fingers' orders, Mr. Fingers admonished it for a whole day and a half by stubbornly telling it he was in constant pain and that whatever decisions coming from "up where it was supposed to be" might as well be coming from where the ass was. This breakdown in the chain of command happens alot though, so the brain was used to these kinds of things. After all, Mr. Fingers is just part of the whole that is me. And I've been called an ass alot.

2006-11-12T23:56:00.000-08:00

a href"http://www.eddythepig@deviantart.com">mine